Wrong Number
by Kylarski
Summary: Dave texts the wrong number and it's John. They've never met, but John tries to form a friendship because he's a dork. I guess there's a better explanation at the beginning of chapter one. Possible John/Dave.
1. Chapter 1

**I blame Jenny for the terrible title.**

**Full terrible summary: **basically Dave texts the wrong number and it's John. They've never met, but John tries to form a friendship because he's a dork. Also John is insecure of himself and he kind of thinks Dave is a really cool college kid even though he's actually just a equally-lame high school kid too.

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><p><strong>AN:** Okay I guess I should point out now that this is not meant to be serious writing, I just use this type of casual writing to help me relax. I figured some people might like it, so here you go.

Dave says fuck a lot. And everyone is probably out of character.

And there won't be any spoilers to my knowledge because I am really far behind and it's AU anyways.

Also, I really wish fanfiction let me use color, because that was what I originally did, but you guys need some way to tell them apart..so TG and EB it is.

If any of you watch me for my future BBC stories or my Torchwood fic that may never update, I'm sorry.

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><p><strong>TG: yo<strong>

**EB: umm hi?**

**TG: wow**

**TG: lame**

**EB: bluhh...**

**EB: i think you have the wrong number**

**TG: like fuck i do**

**EB: no really!**

**TG: yeah thats hilarious jade**

**TG: my sides are splitting**

**EB: im not a girl! im john :B**

**TG: fuck**

**TG: wrong number**

**TG: sorry bro**

**EB: what no its totally fine! did you get jades actual number?**

You don't respond for a while. Because what the fuck? This guy is still texting you?

You ignore it, and meet up with Jade before school, like you were attempting to before you find out she'd typed in a number wrong.

"Thanks for that," and she grins.

"Sorry! I didn't know, okay?"

You roll your eyes, even though she can't see it behind your shades. The school's in view when your phone buzzes.

**EB: sorry i guess that was kind of weird wasnt it? hehe**

You stare at the message, before looking back at Jade.

"Now I got this creep textin' me like we actually know each other or somethin'. It's fuckin' weird,"

She giggles. "Maybe he's lonely? You should text him back!"

What a stupid idea.

But then it's only fifteen minutes into your first period class and it feels like it's been five hours. You pull out your phone, and finally decide to just reply for the heck of it.

**TG: no kidding**

He doesn't respond until the end of the period.

**EB: hehe sorry :B anyways, you know my name, so whats yours?**

**TG: sexy fuck**

He doesn't respond.

He doesn't respond until lunch.

You meet up with Jade, and she quickly introduces you to one of her new friends, Rose. She seems normal enough. She's kind of pretty, actually. You think she could lose the black lipstick, though.

You sit at a round table in the corner, just the three of you, when your phone buzzes.

**EB: pfft that would be a terrible name, dude**

**TG: its the best name ever fuck you**

**EB: sureee**

**TG: it is**

he doesn't respond for a few minutes. Jade raises an eyebrow.

"Texting mystery boy, Dave?"

You smirk slightly.

"He's an idiot. I think he almos' thinks we're friends or some shit,"

**EB: hmm i bet your real name is better!**

You don't respond. You tell yourself (and Jade) it's because it lowers your intellect just looking at it.

He texts you again.

**EB: so, whatre you up to right now anyways? :B**

**TG: none of your wax**

**EB: what?**

**TG: wow**

**EB: ummm anyways! im at school. its really boring. i dont really think anyone likes me**

**TG: i wonder why**

He doesn't respond. You almost feel kind of bad for him. Almost.

**EB: wow jerk**

You arch an eyebrow at your screen.

**EB: is it okay if i call you?**

You don't reply. Because that is weird as shit.

And then he's calling you.

Jade is jumping up and down and forces you to pick it up, or she'll do it.

You pick up.

"Yo,"

"Um...hi!"

You don't say anything.

"Sorry, I just..I wanted to hear your voice! You seem cool. Like, not like me. I thought maybe if I talked with you more or something I'd be more like you but jeez this is stupid sorry,"

and he hangs up.

What the fuck.

You almost feel bad for the kid again.

**EB: bluhhh sorry**

**TG: w/e dude**

You eat some lunch.

**EB: can i ask you a question?**

**TG: you just did**

**EB: oh..um...can i ask another?**

**EB: er**

**EB: how do you get people to like you?**

**TG: dude i wish i could help but people just flock to me**

Hah. Like that's even true. Sure, girls think you're hot. They ask you out. You decline. But your best friend is kind of a geek and right now you're sitting with her and a girl with her nose stuck in a book whose wearing black lipstick.

**EB: oh...well...do you have any tips for me?**

**TG: just be yourself dude**

**TG: if they dont like you they can go fuck themselves**

**EB: ..thanks! youre like..um..my idol! yeah! :B**

**TG: ok i guess**

**EB: no, really! thank you! i wish i could tell these jerks that you said that! maybe they wouldnt be such jerks anymore...**

**TG: um**

**TG: no prob**

Wait. Did you fucking write 'um'. You fucking did. Shit.

**EB: hehe :B**

**TG: whats with the buckteeth**

**EB: oh..uh...its supposed to help me feel better about mine! or something...i dont really know. thats what dad says. it kinda helps i guess.**

**TG: cool**

**EB: anyways i gotta stop texting cause class is starting again but thanks for texting me back and stuff!**

And then the bell rings for lunch to be over.

You go to your next class, which happens to be the same as Rose.

It's ridiculously boring.

Eventually-three hours later, school is finally over. Thankfully.

Rose invite you to her house. You and Jade, that is. You shrug.

You have to pretend to not be flipping shit when you see it.

I mean, it's not really your fault. Hell, Jade's house is pretty awesome when you compare it to your crap-hole of an apartment. Your house in Texas was better. But you haven't lived there in what? three years?

You feel like you keep your cool pretty fucking fantastically.

She quickly hurries you past the kitchen, and forbids you from going in there. She makes it sound like a death threat.

You don't know what you were expecting, but it wasn't this. You're all in the living room. Jade insisted on watching some dumb show you've never heard of. Rose ignored the tv and knit what looked like a mass blob of purple.

You don't ask.

Your phone buzzes.

**EB: hi!**

**TG: sup**

**EB: im at home! my dads making cake again.**

**TG: cool**

**EB: no not cool! he makes cake every day and im so sick of it you dont understand! :B**

**TG: woah angry buck teeth everyone watch out**

**TG: we got a bad ass over here**

**EB: not funny**

**TG: hilarious**

**EB: :B**

**TG: im scared**

**TG: buckteeth**

**TG: john hold me**

He stops replying. You feel a tad bit awkward. But why the fuck should you? You're Dave fucking Strider. You make people feel awkward with your insane cool levels.

**EB: i cant im drowning in cake batter bluhhh**

You didn't snort.

Fuck you Jade, you did not snort.

Jade waggles her eyebrows at you. You throw a pillow at her face.

She giggles.

**TG: sucks for yoyu**

Jade threw the pillow at you.

You didn't avoid it because it's ironic.

You didn't avoid it because fuck you.

**EB: yoyu? hehe i think you made a typo there Sexy Fuck**

You're about to reply when you see the last part. You feel incredibly weirded out until you remember you told him that was your name.

**TG: its hard to type properly when someone chucks a fucking pillow at your head and you dont dodge it because its more ironic that way**

**EB: hehe you hanging out with your girlfriend?**

You almost reply with a 'fuck no', before realizing-you're Dave Strider. You are supposed to have a girlfriend. A sexy girlfriend. A sexy girlfriend that flirts with you by chucking pillows at you, apparently.

**TG: yeah**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N:** Well, first, I just want to thank everyone for the reviews, those are what kept me writing! I'm sorry that these chapters aren't very long, but hopefully that's not too much of a problem. I generally can only update once a week, which isn't that much considering how short these are, but I'm way too busy to update much more than that. Hopefully this week you'll get a few updates though, seeing as it's Spring Break and I'm not doing too much! Anyways, I feel I should mention again my headcanon is that Dave is pretty much just as awkward as John, so he's not all that in-character.

Also, I'm not sure if this fic goes against the guidelines because there's chat speak as well as writing, but I sent an email asking about this. If there's an issue, I'll just post the chapters somewhere else, which I'll put in my bio or something if that were to happen.

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><p><strong>EB: thats cool! i wish i had a girlfriend :B but no girl would ever like me!<strong>

**TG: just gotta find the right one**

**EB: you really think so?**

**TG: anythings possible**

So, you're a bit of a douche. Whatever. This John kid doesn't seem to be wanting to leave you alone anyways.

**EB: i hope one day i can be as awesome as you!**

**TG: anythings possible**

You look up and Jade is staring at you with this dopey smile.

"What the fuck, Jade?"

"You've been texting him a lot!"

You arch an eyebrow. She attempted to do the same, which you both know she only succeeds in about half the time. She collapses into giggles instead and then falls asleep on the floor. You consider prodding your foot into her stomach, but that would be totally uncool.

**EB: i hope so! anyways sorry if i dont text back i owe this guy a favor and he wants me to do something for him!**

You slump into the couch.

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><p>"Got any food, Rose?"<p>

"No."

You glance at her. She rolls her eyes pointedly.

"Guess I'll have to find it myself," You sit up, and she gives you this cold stare. You stare right back. Then you realize that she doesn't know that. You blame John.

You sit back down, and Rose orders a pizza.

She gives you the exact amount of change and tells you to get the door. You consider asking why. You don't have to, because apparently this chick is a mind reader. "I don't want people knowing I live here." You don't ask why.

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><p>The doorbell rings twenty minutes later.<p>

You push yourself up and make your way to the front door, and try to open it. It's locked. Of course it is. You knew that. You wanted to ironically try to open the door when you knew it was locked. You unlock it.

There's this kid in front of you. He doesn't look like he knows what he's doing. But he has the pizza, and so you hand him the cash, while taking the pizza. He counts the money, before frowning.

He has dark hair that's kind of going everywhere. You see a bike propped up against the porch. His glasses are knocked slightly off center. You step back with the pizza and he stops you. "Um! Sorry, uh, this isn't the right amount of money, sir," You stare at him questioningly. He can't tell. He fidgets. "You need uh, a dollar more,"

You frown. "Just a sec,"

"Rose! Kid says 'ya need another buck," you disappear behind the door, before returning hardly thirty seconds later. "Alright come in I guess, she might be a bit," he steps in cautiously, and you shut the door. She doesn't come. "Fuck, Rose, seriously, I need a buck."

"Come in here and get it then, Dave. I'm almost done though, if you are unable to take six steps forwards."

She walks in, shoves a dollar into his hand, and disappears back into the room. "Also, Jade's asleep. I've tried a lot of things, and she's not waking up." You bite down a laugh, "I'll get her up, don' worry,".

You hand him the dollar. He bites his lip and flashes a smile, before leaving the house.

You bring the pizza into the living room, and Jade immediately wakes up. "Pizza!" she grins, and you let yourself slip a short-lived smile.

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><p><strong>EB: augh that was horrible<strong>

**TG: do you want me to ask what happened**

**TG: and then pretend to care**

**TG: maybe give some words of wisdom**

**EB: hehe no! i just wanted to complain i guess! but you probably dont do that much huh...but dad says its normal for a kid my age to so..!**

**TG: ok**

**EB: sorry it must suck talking to a younger kid im probably pretty annoying huh? but seriously if im like you in college...well...maybe ill be okay!**

Wait. Does he seriously think you're in college?

Okay. You'll let him.

You won't tell him you are, of course, because that would be uncool. But it would be just as uncool to tell him you aren't.

**EB: :B**

**TG: dont worry dude youll be fine**

You eat a piece of pizza.

**EB: promise?**

**TG: yeah sure**

**EB: no! you can't just say yeah sure! you have to promise. its law!**

**TG: fine**

**TG: i promise**

**TG: fuck, i pinky swear**

**TG: and its the coolest pinky swear youll ever encounter so dont forget it**

**EB: of course not!**

You don't text him back. He doesn't text you.

You could really care less.

Eventually Bro is at the house to pick you up. He texts you. You ignore the text, because you're a douche. He calls you. You ignore the call, because you're a douche.

Or mainly because this couch is really comfortable and you fell asleep.

And so he knocks on the door. Loudly. And impatiently.

And then you uncover the reason Rose wanted you to stay out of the kitchen.

Her mom walks out, to answer the door, just as you do. She's obviously drunk. Bro is about to yell at you or something, but I guess the sight of boobs makes him forget he was ever mad at you in the first place. You consider thanking some higher-power for boobs. Then you realize that would probably be really really uncool.

So you don't.

When you're in the truck, he tells you to go that house more often.

Lucky for him, you want to.

You trip over a puppet and land on your bed. It was purposeful. Less work to get to your bed.

You pull yourself onto your mattress, and flop over, before yanking down your jeans to your ankles and then passing out.

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><p>You wake up to your cell phone buzzing at you.<p>

"What d'ya want?" You're not the most charming in the morning. You try to stand up but trip and fall and groan a bit because fuck, your pants are still around your ankles.

"Uh, I was going to ask you if you wanted a ride to school, but now I'm just going to pick you up regardless."

"Kay," you grumble, and you hear her snicker before the line goes dead. You don't even ask her how she has your address. Eventually you manage to detangle yourself from your jeans and stumble into your bathroom. Your brother must have left late, because all the hot water is gone and holy fucking shit you were totally expecting that and no you definitely did not jump and then slip and hit your fucking head on the shower door no you did not.

You've got on your boxers and a shirt and a price of toast jammed in your mouth when you hear the knock on the door.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N:** ...So I said I'd update, and failed to do so. Apologies. I was waiting for an email back about if this fic was going against the guidelines or not, but I still haven't got one so I'll just go ahead and upload it anyways. The style of writing has changed a bit since I've tried to minimize the amount of texting so that I'm not testing the guidelines as much. I don't have a beta still, so hopefully this isn't too horrendous.

I apologize in advance if anyone is out of character again. Also, thank you to those of you who reviewed! :')

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><p>You grab your shades and shove them on your face before opening the door. Jade is grinning back at you.<p>

You walk away to find some pants, and you hear her step inside and shut the door. You pull on your shoes mid-step, and she giggles.

You don't really mind it, honestly. You both leave and she grabs your hand, as though you didn't know your way around your own apartment complex.

Okay.

You discover that it is actually fucking freezing outside. You've been here for three years and you're still not used to the fact that it feels like Winter when Fall hasn't even fully started yet. Jade's just wearing a tanktop and a skirt that ends just below her knees. You stuff your left hand in your jeans pocket. The usual group of kids are standing on the sidewalk, and when one waves, you give a nod in his direction. You notice Rose's car, and Jade leads you over to it, then lets you claim the passenger seat. Your phone buzzes.

**EB: good morning!**

**TG: sup**

**EB: stuff**

**TG: wow dude thanks for enlightening me with your words of wisdom**

**EB: :B**

Rose pulls up in a parking space, and you immediately flee. You could feel Jade's intense staring since the moment "John" (if that was even his name, fuck if you remember, but that's what you set his name as) sent you the first text. You manage to dodge her long enough to get to class, even though you and every other person in the hall can hear her yelling at you to stop this instant and talk to her.

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><p>It's not until lunch that someone approaches you in the hall and asks if the earlier incident means you're single. Wait. What the fuck? "What the fuck?" You don't really know what else to say.<p>

"Are you..you know, single? I heard you and Jade got in a fight this morning and..." She trails off.

"Why the fuck would it matter if me and Jade got into a fight?"

She fidgets. She tries to meet your eyes, but gives up after two seconds.

"Well, cause then maybe you two would have broken up and-" You cut her off. "Broken up? What are you talking about?" She doesn't respond, and she looks like she's about to run off. You push up your shades enough to pinch the bridge of your nose for a second.

"Do you really think me and _Jade_ of all people were dating?" She bites her lip. "And why the hell would her yelling at me mean we broke up? She yells at me all the fucking time. She nags me."

She still doesn't say anything.

"We aren't dating, never were. That should answer your question," and you turn around to find Jade and Rose but she touches your shoulder and you turn back and she immediately pulls her hand away. "W-would you like to go to the Fall dance with me, then?" You think you might frown for a second. This is the only fucking school you know with what, _five_ dances each year? And you hate it.

You feel a little bad when she flinches and you run a hand through your hair. "I'll think about it, I guess." She's pretty fucking shocked and she tries to cover it up but it's really pretty embarrassing for _you_ to watch. So you turn around and flick your wrist in a way that hopefully resembled a wave, before stalking over to the table you usually sit at.

Rose just arches an eyebrow at you and you refuse to believe you snorted before saying "I take that personally,".

Jade nudges you with her elbow and you flick her ear. You quickly realize that that is kind of couple-y like and you focus your attention to your food.

"So what was that about?" You shrug, taking a bite out of sandwich before grimacing and sliding out of your seat to toss it in the trash bin. You come back and are quickly pestered with the same question.

"What was that about Daveee?"

She stretches out the 'e' far too long for your liking. You shrug again, but you know she'll keep asking so you end up telling her anyways. "Some chick just asked me to go to the dance with her," She covers her excited grin and asks "Did you say ye-" "I said maybe," she frowns and is about to scold you or something but you put in the other earbud and she gives up.

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><p>It's two weeks later and only then does the girl-who-asked-you-out-whose-name-you-think-might-be-'Amy' talks to you again. She asks you about the dance thing again.<p>

You shrug.

She does not take kindly to your shrugging.

You don't really know what to do so you apologize. This surprises both you and her a little. You decide to not be a douche for once (or maybe this was being douchey? You just don't know.) and tell her to just get another date. She looks a little sad but also slightly relieved. She smiles and waves bye to you and you don't think you even reacted.

Jade scolds you later and she claims she's going to kidnap you and drag you to the dance. You grimace slightly. "People already think we're a couple, so how about no?" Jade looks remarkably surprised and Rose eyes you carefully, but doesn't say anything.

The dance isn't even for another month, so you aren't really sure what the big deal about deciding if you're going to go right now is.

But then Rose has a date (some girl who's name you forgot but she kind of scares you) and Jade runs up to you after school exclaiming that she has a date and promises that you get to meet him after school tomorrow.

His name is John. He looks a bit familiar, and you don't know why. He says he's new to the school. You feel a little bit weird because your John hasn't texted you much lately, said he was busy with school and had been having issues with jerks there again and-your John. What the fuck. No, it's okay to call him 'your john' because it's ironic because you've never even met and you aren't even homosexual. Or something. Except for the whole fact that you aren't exactly heterosexual either.

Jade runs off to find some books with Rose and John sits at the table you currently occupy.

"Hi!"

You nod in his direction, and find yourself texting your John.

**TG: sup**

He doesn't reply for a bit so you reach for your gameboy, and you feel John staring at you. You let him. You're kind of absorbed in your game for a bit, when you get a text. You immediately pause your game and grab your phone and oh god you're acting like a girl with this whole texting thing. For ironic purposes. Of course.

**EB: not much, but guess what?**

**TG: what**

John is staring at you again. "What?" He shakes his head with a sheepish smile. "Nothing!"

You roll your eyes pointedly but then realize he can't see and fuck you are really losing your cool lately.


End file.
